funny status quotes

funny status quotes

Head up. Dear haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at. Funny. You are what you love not love who loves you. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble. Hope is a waking dream. I am not turning my clock back on November 1st, I do not need another hour of 2020. Going to the gym? Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Funny, Bones funny. Short Status become a common or easy uses thing at present time. What’s wrong with me?” He said “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”. Together we make mud. I am a water sign. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Tell me more! Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”. So to keep you healthy and happy literally, enjoy these 300 funny quotes… Funny Quotes “People say nothing is impossible, but I do Search random posts or submit your own. Funny Status Ideas #17613. Take my blood, sweat and tears, but never touch my pride. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? I drink to make other people interesting. I sit and look at it for hours.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score? I never repeat any mistake twice. The longer the title the less important the job. I like work. WTF? Some call them the funniest status updates, we just call them funny statuses. Our greatest glory is not in falling, but in rising every time we fall. If “Plan 1” didn’t work.

My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my BED. Monday Quotes – Happy Monday “Monday?! Funny status messages help keep conversations going and also make it easy to tackle hard subjects.

Most often we are looking for simple or funny Short Status for our social media profile. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just sat the hay on fire. Here they are… Most LIKED Statuses : All Time | This Month | This Week | 48 Hours Top 100 Funny Status Updates. Facebook account for sale, Friends included. It fascinates me. Here they are… Posted By: Guest - Category: funny Christmas status update saying on Sunday, 12.30.18 @ 14:21pm We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight! Pursuing your career in Babysitting?

Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters! One of my daughters wants to marry the mailman, but I won’t letter! CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Going to sleep? Inspiring Four Word Status Quotes - Short To Quick Share, Short Quotes About Life and Inspirational Life Status Quotes, Whatsapp Status - Status for Whatsapp About Love, Life, Attitude, Fun & More, 30 Best Cool Short Quotes, Status & Short Messages, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. Nigerian Latest news. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. Don’t regret the past, just learn from it. Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. New posts will not be retrieved. Do I look at the ceiling? Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. Hot: Billy Porter bio Swords types Genevieve padalecki. All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise. May you live every day of your life. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Really… 35 children are enough. Everything you can imagine is real. Your funny WhatsApp status adds happiness and positivity in other's life, who all connected with you WhatsApp.

2. Stay strong. Feel bad for all the kids who probably won't be trick-or-treating this year, but just think of all the candy they'll be for 50% off the day after!
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck. – Jo Deurbrouck . This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Live what you love. My attitude is based on how you treat me. Enter it below to nominate it. Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. A tax is a fine for doing well. My friends say that alcohol kills slowly.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

Following are the funny and inspiring Monday quotes, status and messages with images. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? All of us could take a lesson from the weather. Well no need to ask anymore because we’ve compiled this definitive list. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

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